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Self-doubt and loathing hound her and at times overwhelm the reader. But sleeping with strangers is a dangerous way to numb the soul. Becoming a phone-sex worker, as Gay did for a short time in Arizona, isn't an illegitimate choice per se. Throughout her early 20s, as she continued to gain weight, she seemed to will episodes of self-sabotage. Yet she's also weary of a body built in response to a crime. Her fury, humiliation, and exasperation sprawl through Hunger.
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Those with "unruly bodies" are not treated as worthy of respect, but more like walking, talking objects, masses of flesh that must be reduced, fixed, and groomed to be seen, heard, and loved.įrom her time at Exeter Academy to a short stint at Yale to her hard-earned success as a writer, the message that she needed to lose weight to matter has been relentless. In Hunger, she singles out the twisted way the culture frames obesity. It is a deeply honest witness, often heartbreaking, and always breathtaking.Īs a cultural critic, Gay is a master of the call-out, mincing no words when taking on misogyny or racism. In a collection of staccato chapters, she shares how she forged the shield. Pound by pound, she built a soft, thick, mass of armor to protect the sweet bits of her soul that were left.
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With the bracing candor, vulnerability, and power that have made her one of the most admired writers of her generation, Roxane explores what it means to learn to take care of yourself: how to feed your hungers for delicious and satisfying food, a smaller and safer body, and a body that can love and be loved-in a time when the bigger you are, the smaller your world becomes.Nolead ends For nearly 30 years, Roxane Gay used food to cope with an act of violence done to her before she was out of puberty, before her body had a chance to blossom gently and unbruised.Īs she writes in Hunger, turning her 6-foot-3 frame into a fortress by "eating and eating and eating" was a response to gang rape. In Hunger, she explores her past-including the devastating act of violence that acted as a turning point in her young life-and brings readers along on her journey to understand and ultimately save herself. As a woman who describes her own body as “wildly undisciplined,” Roxane understands the tension between desire and denial, between self-comfort and self-care. In her phenomenally popular essays and long-running Tumblr blog, Roxane Gay has written with intimacy and sensitivity about food and body, using her own emotional and psychological struggles as a means of exploring our shared anxieties over pleasure, consumption, appearance, and health. I was trapped in my body, one that I barely recognized or understood, but at least I was safe.” I tried to erase every memory of her, but she is still there, somewhere. I buried the girl I was because she ran into all kinds of trouble.
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“I ate and ate and ate in the hopes that if I made myself big, my body would be safe. From the New York Times bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself.